


Until I Fall

by laxeiya



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Friendship, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laxeiya/pseuds/laxeiya
Summary: Things were hard, but they got through it together.Things were hard, but they had each other.Things were hard, but they wouldn’t change it for the world if it meant staying together.But before he knew it, cracks began to show.Before he knew it, relationships began to crumble.Before he knew it, 9 became 8, then 8 became 7.Two lives were at stake, and it was all Kang Hyunggu’s fault.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Jo Jinho | Jino/Lee Hwitaek | Hui, Jo Jinho | Jino/Yang Hongseok, Jung Wooseok/Ko Shinwon, Kim Hyojong | Dawn/Kim Hyuna, Kim Hyojong | E'Dawn/Lee Hwitaek | Hui, Yan An/Yeo Changgu | Yeo One
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue: I’ll Find You (but I Won’t)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, all! This is my second multichaptered piece on AO3 and second PTG work. :D  
> I'm a softie for Soulmate fics, though I didn't plan on writing my own...
> 
> This story is based on PENTAGON's "Off Road" and I really recommend listening to it as you read this fic (now and future chapters).
> 
> For this fic, the story sort of came before the plot, but it was missing something, so I added the Soulmates element which made things right.
> 
> However, that said, I'm trying to make this different from other Soulmate-type stories, with rules to the Red String and Soulmates, which helps the story unfold the way it will... I literally came up with this stuff myself without coming across anything similar in other stories, so if some "unique details" sound too much like another author's, please know it was not intentional and I'm NOT trying to steal anything! Okay? Please?
> 
> This WILL be updated, but not in a timely manner, sadly. I am busy and stressed beyond limits and writing has become my coping mechanism once again. Sometimes I'll update quickly, but most likely I won't.
> 
> Despite that, I hope you'll bear with me and enjoy the story as it unfolds, regardless of how long it'll take.
> 
> And I'm happy to add to the JinHui/JinTaek section! This ship needs waaaaaay more love and I'm shocked there's not more fics about them (I want to read them, too, you know. *pout*)

**Prologue: I’ll Find You (but I Won’t)**

Being connected by the Red String of Fate means you’ve met a person who has made or will make a significant impact in your life in some way.

However, it takes more to find your Soulmate than a red string. A list of criteria that can apply to close family and friendships makes the search nearly impossible.

Which is why many take drastic measures, sometimes risking their own lives, in order to bring the search to a, hopefully, positive end.

With that in mind, a person can go their whole life without ever meeting their Soulmate. Live what some might term as a ‘free’ life with or without a partner of their own choosing.

In actuality, however, this is not a ‘true’ option. No matter how ‘content’ or ‘accepting’ a person is, there will always, _always_ , be a hole—no matter how shallow—in their mind, body, heart, and soul, that can only be filled by having their Soulmate by their side.

It is this hole that inevitably turns into what is known as a Void, weighing a person from the inside out until their body stops functioning altogether.

First the body, then the heart, then the mind, and finally, the soul.

It is the kind of death no one wants to experience. Beyond that, anyone would want to be with their destined other half, and so, many people go passed their limits to find their Soulmate.

Lee Hwitaek, on the other hand, is in no rush. As silly and mildly sarcastic as he was whenever love was a topic, it was no secret Hwitaek was a die-hard romantic, desiring a partner to warm their hands in his own, hold closely at night and cuddle to sleep, sing loving morning calls to in the morning and spoil with kisses and hugs once they open their eyes.

His heart is pure. He holds the belief that ‘Fate’ is real and cannot be tampered with. The Red String connects to many, but there is only one Soulmate.

And that criteria to help find said Soulmate?

Hwitaek shudders. It is scary, to think about a death far worse, and far earlier, than the natural Void would eventually do if he Disconnected from his Soulmate.

So, he chooses not to think about the criteria. Not to think about how a Soulmate stands out from the other Red Connections. Not to think about the beautiful things, for that means, thinking about the terrible, miserable, painful things that exist simultaneously…

Love is not a science. Love never makes sense.

If he began to check certain ‘criteria’ off the list for every Red Connection he met, Hwitaek’s Soulmate would no longer be a partner, but a rare collectable just waiting for its new ‘owner’ to take it home and put on display.

No. Just…no.

Love is pure and clear and confusing and limitless—

Love just _is_.

And Hwitaek was determined to keep it that way.

There is no death by Void in his future. He will meet his Soulmate.

There is no early death by Disconnection in his future. He’ll know his Soulmate when he sees them, and he’ll treasure them the very moment they meet, to eternity after death.

So, he can live confidently. Comfortably. No fear. No sadness.

His Soulmate is out there. There is no doubt.

Hwitaek will find them one day.

But he won’t look for them.

It’s in Fate’s hands now. There’s nothing Hwitaek trusts more.

_If only Hwitaek knew ‘Fate’ could be tempted._

_And once thrown off road, it can never go back._


	2. Chapter 1: What We Don't See (or Say)

**Chapter 1: What We Don’t See (or Say)**

**_Hyunggu_ **

They say things are obvious in hindsight. Bright, fresh, and clear as day—like it’s a wonder how the event was so complicated in the first place.

When Kang Hyunggu thinks back, he feels the fear, the pain, the confusion, the anger…he hears the doors slamming, the screaming, the sounds of sadness, the cries for answers…he sees the broken glass on the kitchen floor, the tears of his same-aged friends, the anguish in his hyungs’ faces, the shattered gaze in his leader’s eyes…

It’s all there. Bundled in a limited-edition package no one wants.

Hyunggu breathes, slow and deep. Strips of salt push through tightened lids in a race. They pile high on Hyunggu’s eyelashes, balancing, waiting, before diving down heated cheeks at great speed to the polished floors below.

Strong golden arms wrapped around his torso and shoulders do nothing to lighten the knot in his chest. Murmurs of consolation in his ear don’t hide the owner’s own unease and fear. Hyunggu shakes his head, willing, pleading for the whispers to stop, but as if on autopilot, the words continue. Uneven, unfinished, grasping at concepts and failing in translation, all while the grip around him tightens.

His heart warms and aches. At the effort, the support, the consideration, all despite the source’s own suffering—

And suddenly he sees it. What he missed, what he ignored, what he didn’t think much of.

A time long before now, before they were nine…before they were even ten… A time of hope and excitement masked by stress and pressure. Where they were supposed to be together, striving for the same goal, but that road was riddled with pebbles, cracks, and the occasional wall.

When Hyunggu closes his eyes, all he can see is red. Nothing but red. It stretches to every corner and around every bend, until slowly, the vibrant color wavers. Slightly, carefully, then folds in on itself.

Once, twice, three times, and just like that, the red blanket is a string.

A small, thin, harmless string.

The opposite of how Hyunggu sees it now.

But he had to think back. Think back to where he messed up. Understand his feelings and his faults.

_“Hyung, is it possible for soulmates to be in the same group?”_

Hyunggu is taken back to the practice room of Cube Entertainment. The red string extends happily to his right where Kim Hyojung sits, one knee bent in mid-stretch and an expression of mild surprise on his face as he looks at his dongsaeng.

It was just another day for them. The only two trainees so far promised to debut in a future boy group—though, debut felt farther away with each passing day and no word of another member joining them. The age difference was a bit of a pain at times, as the shaggy-haired rapper loved milking it at any and every opportunity, but just as much, the blond took care of Hyunggu well with the occasional meals, a watchfulness of his physical health, and a willingness to listen.

Normally, said rapper would have a pretty unique view of the world and philosophy in general. Maybe that was why Hyunggu found his mouth reflecting the curiosities in his mind before he could process the concepts himself.

“What? You think we’re soulmates?”

And just like that, any likelihood of a serious conversation was tossed in the garbage as a strangely interested and hopeful expression formed on the blond’s face.

Hyunggu's head shot up, his back straighter than a pencil. “What? No!”

Hyojung raised a brow, a look of disapproval and offense removing all traces of open wonder. “Well, excuse me for not being up to par.”

“That’s not what I meant—”

“So, you _do_ have a thing for me?”

“Hyuuuung!” Face red, cheeks fluffed, and eyes welling with tears faster than the dancer would like to admit, Hyunggu collapsed to the floor, arms crossed and covering his head as Hyojung’s laughter drowned out the low music playing in the background.

Hyojung patted the raven’s back several times, but it wasn’t until music was the _only_ thing filling the air that Hyunggu dared to glance up. Hyojung was now lying beside him, head propped up with one hand and lips twisted in amusement. Hyunggu pouted, widening the older’s smile.

The blond ruffled raven locks. “Okay. C’mon. What’s up?” A glare was his response, and Hyojung raised his ruffling hand in peace. “Serious.”

Hyunggu sighed before flipping onto his back. “I don’t know. I was just thinking…” The teen tilted his head. “Training usually takes years with not much free-time in-between, and once trainees debut, the best scenario is that their career lasts for many years, if not a lifetime, so how are they able to meet their soulmate before an old age?”

Hyojung blinked. “Who said a soulmate can’t be a staff member, trainee, or another idol?”

“Of course, they can, but not all of them are—at least, from what we hear about.” A pause. A thought. “Voids…they usually happen at an older age, right?” Hyojung nods. “And D-Disconnections can happen at any time…” Hyunggu bit his bottom lip. “But almost every senior idol in a group seems to be in good health…so, assuming they _did_ meet their soulmate—”

“The only way they can be alive and well is if their soulmate is their manager or groupmate,” the rapper finished. Hyunggu nodded. Hyojung shrugged. “Could be… I bet it’s more common than we’d think.”

Hyunggu sat up, leaning toward his hyung with wide eyes. “But how would you _know_ they’re your soulmate?” The boy waved a hand in a vague gesture. “Groupmates are always together. Even for solo schedules, they’re not apart very long. Same for managers, so how…” The dancer’s voice became small. “How can you possibly check?”

“Good question.” Hyojung hummed thoughtfully, studying Hyunggu’s face. Furrowed brows, cheeks dusted with a soft pink, lips torn between a pout or a line, and eyes wavering in an unfocused gaze. “Maybe you just don’t know until everyone goes their separate ways.” Hyunggu’s jaw clenched. The older paused. “You worry too much, ya know.” He reached over and sent the dark hair into a frenzy once more, much to the younger’s annoyance. “You’re not going to get Disconnected, Hyunggu-yah, let alone have a Void.”

Hyunggu sighed. “How do you know, Hyung? Won’t it be too late? Just like—”

“That won’t happen.” Hyojung sat up and stretched his arms over his head. “I won’t let it.”

Hyunggu glanced up curiously. “How, Hyung?”

The blond flashed a toothy grin. “Dummy. Who said only soulmates could find each other?” He leaned in close to the boy’s face. “Distance is the easy way out. There’s a lot more to soulmates than sticking to each other like lovesick puppies, ya know.”

“Yeah, but that’s harder to figure out.” Hyunggu frowned. “How can you be sure?”

Hyojung smiled. Small and soft. His eyes squinted ever so slightly as he met Hyunggu’s bewildered stare. Eyes that crinkled at the edges, full of fondness toward something or someone the young dancer couldn’t guess.

It caught the boy off-guard. “Hyung…do you—”

The _click-clack_ and rumble of heavy metallic doors turned the duo’s attention to the entrance of the practice room. Instantly, Hyunggu’s red string—previously content circling around Hyojung's ankles in play—went stiff. The vibrant red pulsated a deep maroon before the string attached itself to Hyunggu's pinky finger.

He winced in time with Hyojung. The two made eye contact, then simultaneously looked to the far side of the room. Hyunggu watched as his own string split into three. One strand continued to connect to Hyojung, wrapped properly on the rapper’s own pinky finger this time, while the other two stretched to the doors of the practice room, where two figures entered.

One strand reacquainted with the hand of Cube Entertainment’s CEO, but the remaining string weaved around a newcomer’s leg as he followed behind the business man. From his ankle, to the thigh, circling a tiny torso until finally following a lanky arm’s path to an equally thin pinky.

The red string held strong as the two approached. Different from the holds of many staff members or acquaintances. This sense of security resembled more of Hyunggu’s connection to his family and Hyojung.

The two dancers instantly stood from the floor and bowed low. Upon rising, Hyunggu stole a glance at his hyung, wondering if, perhaps, he experienced the same sensations. The older’s face was poised into cool indifference, mild friendliness, as usual, but Hyunggu knew better. The eyes under that dyed blond hair sparkled more than he had seen in a while.

But it was more than that. A sense of familiarity and recognition. Hyojung had seen this newcomer before…

And he was happy to see him again.

It brought a small smile to Hyunggu’s lips.

The gem of Hyojung’s eye.

 _“They’ll be okay, Hyunggu-yah,”_ a deep voice murmurs, taking Hyunggu out of his remembrance. His red string is tight around his pinky and latches onto the entire wrist of the trembling hand gripping his shoulder. Normally, having that husky voice so close to his ear would send shivers down the dancer’s spine, send his heart to the stratosphere and back, make him forget how to dance— “It wasn’t your fault.”

But now, all that husky voice does is remind Hyunggu of his failures. The very presence of this golden man reminds Hyunggu of what he prevented others to have.

His hands can’t keep still, his heart skips too many beats, his head pounds like a ceremonial drum, his vision blurs beyond repair—

Yet the droplets of blood on the floor cannot be unseen. The dark burn marks seared into soft, pale skin cannot be removed from his memory. The final, desperate cry for a loved one cannot stop ringing in his ears.

“N-No…” Hyunggu croaks. “I-It is my fault.” He buries his face in his hands. Red string be damned. “It’s my fault.” He sobs. “I-I’m sorry, hyungs. I’m sorry!”

Things are obvious in hindsight. Bright, fresh, and clear as day.

Now that Hyunggu thinks back, he wonders why he thought it was so complicated in the first place.

The laughter, the smiles…the support, the protection…

It’s all there. Bundled in a limited-edition package anyone would want.

If only he listened to Hyojung that day, then maybe that would have been the package he took home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it was clear, but just in case, the change of tenses was deliberate. Present tense meant it was happening in the now, and once italics was used, it shifted to past tense to note the events of the past (except for the brief paragraph of present tense to set Hyunggu back in time). Then it went back to present tense again toward the end.
> 
> This is the only time, I believe, tenses will be switched up like that DURING the story. I just felt having breakers of some kind would be random and take the reader out of the story too much. And just full italics is hard to read and irritating to the eyes.
> 
> But who knows. I could be wrong. If enough readers feel breakers would be better, let me know and I'll do so.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoyed~

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate all comments, from single emojis to in-depth critiques. It's not necessary to comment, though. I just wish for readers to hopefully enjoy what I write.
> 
> But if I missed a detail or something doesn't add up, please let me know, too. I still make mistakes sometimes, no matter how many times I rewrite and proofread. :)


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